Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in disorder_ok's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, November 25th, 2007
6:58 pm	fuck. Your songs empower me. If only for the few minutes they are left swirling inside my mind. Fuck eh. If only. (Comment on this)
Monday, August 28th, 2006
3:47 pm	Fucking arghhhhhhh!!!! So fucking angry right now. Haven't been this angry in a while. I want to smash things. Current Mood: angry (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 10th, 2006
3:44 pm	work So I'm At work, Collecting money from clients for advertisements they haven't really placed.. Collecting money from clients which I really have no right to take.... Making people angry ... Ruining their day.... But better than being a drug dealer I suppose. probably in less ways than more.. But! at least I can use the internet while getting paid to do so. Weekend soon whoo. And to top it off, early start to the weekend tomorrow commencing at 12 0'clock for the staffs combined effort of deceitfulness. go us. go weekend Current Mood: content (Comment on this)
Friday, June 23rd, 2006
8:35 pm	home alonerrrr... So lately Ive found something in myself that i don't particularly like. In fact I hate it, it causes me to say hurtful things to people I love and I'm sick of feeling all fucked up about the way Ive been acting lately.. In particular I'll take something.... that's absolutely nothing in the first place! And the demons in my mind somehow manage to contort and stretch this nothing causing it to grow and mutate into something that's ridiculously blown out of proportion and relates negatively towards me somehow... because it's always about Lauren, isn't it Lauren?!? And this cause's me to say things ever so subtly knowing it will anger, annoy or hurt the person/persons in question. The sad thing is I realize I'm doing this, and no, it doesn't give me satisfaction of any kind... even a tiny bit.. In fact even as the words come out of my mouth the insides of my head slip me a disgusted look and say "what the fuck is wrong with you?" Ive always had issues especially when it comes to relationships mostly due to the past experience with my ex of three and a bit years. In ways it's left me a little inexperienced to the norm, if that makes sense. But no excuses, Im over it now and happy with most of the things in my life right now. So I guess in conclusion I guess it's a good thing I realize this about myself as I can take steps to overcome this stupid jealousy and irrational way of thinking. And hopefully do so before the possibilty of doing irreversible damage to the friendships of people who I want in my life forever.. Current Mood: okay (Comment on this)
Monday, May 22nd, 2006
3:57 pm	no subject. just subjection. One pill makes you larger And one pill makes you small And the ones that mother gives you Don't do anything at all Go ask Alice When she's ten feet tall And if you go chasing rabbits And you know you're going to fall Tell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillar Has given you the call Call Alice When she was just small When men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving low Go ask Alice I think she'll know When logic and proportion Have fallen sloppy dead And the White Knight is talking backwards And the Red Queen's "off with her head!" Remember what the dormouse said: "Feed your head Feed your head Feed your head" arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh is all I have to say right now. Current Mood: aggravated (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 9th, 2006
3:47 pm	mmmmmmore mike.. So. At work until 5. Thought I'd rant some more as you do when your at work waiting for your boss to drive you home in her $90 000 Lexis with time to kill. And when you ask me what I'm thinking while lying there watching hour upon hour of the Sopranos. It's not that I don't think. But while watching t.v Im generally zoned out and don't associate thinking when im in this zone.. I know it's your way of trying to get me to communicate with you, but pick better situations to ask me that question. ESPECIALLY after you kiss me, you will find at that point in time im lost in thought the most. You make me smile, you bring me pizza and I lover you and I lover you more for all the positive things you bring into my life. And when you ask me if i think your exciting enough, I want you to know I get excited about spending even the slightest bit of time with you. I Couldn't ask for anything more <3 Well by that I mean... What more could a girl want... Apart from hybrid bull terrier children from the future whom we will name Clash and Brixton and pat their little heads daily, and they will be oh so cute, yes they will... x Current Mood: still chipper (Comment on this)
12:08 pm	mike So have I mentioned lately how fantastic my boyfriend is? Sexy, Funny, Creative, Loving and absolutely fantasic. I know I should tell him this more often because he OBVIOUSLY doesn't read this shite. And I could continue on and on about his greatness but unfortunately i only have time for one more ciggy before work starts back. Not much else. Life is goodly. x Current Mood: chipper (Comment on this)
Friday, April 28th, 2006
3:58 pm	so tired... Well actually the subject is kinda a lie.. Im more drained than tired. Or maybe both actually... I had two nerofen cold and flu tablets this morning which I think are the only things getting me through the day.. I don't actually feel like writing in this. Or eating, or talking or....sitting here. I hate today. Current Mood: crushed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, March 6th, 2006
5:21 pm	my head hurts... my head hurts today... more than the usuall monday hurtness. I tried to stay home this weekend, but since when does trying work... and now... this writing in my live journal business is hurting my head even more.. home time for miss hurty head. Current Mood: drained (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 2nd, 2006
3:53 pm	your mums a fucking live journal... Current Mood: cranky (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 20th, 2006
4:28 pm	times r a gooding well, now that i have just turned off the projecter which was projecting my internetness onto the big screen behind me, i thought i would type a little how ya goin since its been forever, while im awaiting my carriage to escort me to my home sweet home. All is fantastic in the land of lauren. no blah's to be heard. Need to fix computer which is kinda pissing me off, but now i can hang out and about at workies after the bells gone ding and do as im doing. no more drinking on school nights for this girl. well it's obviosley after work, im rambling and don't really know why im on here as i have nothing of importance to say ... hmmm.. With that she was gone.... *poof* Current Mood: bouncy (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 15th, 2005
6:17 pm	welcome to scarface.... cause he loves me.. (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 11th, 2005
7:18 pm	recovering.. arghhhhhhhh.. coming down is a fucking bitch, one of the many downsides to taking drugs. .. moragh's 21st was a great success, from what i remember..... the holes in my brain are aching.... i think im okay... Current Mood: lethargic Current Music: supersuckers (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 7th, 2005
4:46 pm	five days and still nothing... Gin The gin should be arriving soon.. numbing my new piercing, and numb my piercing thoughts. tonight i drink. Current Mood: aggravated Current Music: the clash (Comment on this)
Monday, September 5th, 2005
12:24 am	easy listening i have decided yawning is just as contagious as cigarette's,..and right now i feel addicted to both, so im putting an end to it by arranging the best cd mix i could muster which i have titled "song's to crush you futher", so now i can lay down and play it on my crappy little stereo hopefully achieving sleep as the outcome. good night Current Mood: anxious Current Music: number 1. (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 4th, 2005
9:33 pm	fathers day so, being fathers day. And being that my parents are here from new zealand. James and myself took them out for an all expenses paid day out, twas nice as nice can be. Off to Sanctuary Cove we went, lil boat cruise, lunch on the water yes, yes, all very lovely indeed. They provided their own gambling money for the pokies, Cause that's their thing, and what they do, and ...really is the only outside "hobbie" they have and enjoy doing together, aside from reading their books in the sun... I wON $100 along with James, which means technically the day cost nothing as i left with what i started with, gotta love those free spins, even though i lost $100 the night before at the casino, so i wasn't too estactic about my win.. Don't get me wrong I love my parents, but will be glad when they depart on the Tuesday coming. Its not that I mind having them stay with us, but i find it harder and harder to relate to my mother to the point of where it makes me so damn frustrated and i find myself being very cold and vague towards her, which isn't fair at all, I know this cuts her... Which is why it will be better when she go's.., so she can think of me as she once used to when we could actually have conversations that are not forced, and forget that feeling of us having grown apart ~sigh~ Spent the afternoon with amber, talked for a good 5 hours smoking ciggys and watching the neighborhood kids ride around on their bmx's from the table in her front yard., Mostly reminiscing on stories of our past, and how stupid and naive we used to be once upon a time... The crazy situations you get yourself into that you don't think twice about when you are young, it actually reminded me of how stupid i was growing up...but i suppose that's what growing up is, learning from your mistakes... And here i am again. Waiting for that certain someone to bring me, yes that's right, BRing. I have a feeling I'm not going to see him tonight..... and with no explanation my mind is once again getting away on me with novels of thoughts and stories.. not good. not good at all, where are you babe? Current Mood: anxious (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 21st, 2005
7:18 pm	juzz content so, figured i would update this as i sit waiting for a certain someone to come online. Starting with. great weekend. I love my friends. Went A Byron Bay road trippin on the friday night to see nicks band, good turn out, had about 10 of us that went up...or down? for it. lotsa drugz and lots of music, alcohol and good times. Saturday being just as cool,lotsa eye watching, ass slappin, beer drinking, photo taking, shit talking soooooo good to have amber back. so content. 6 weeks and 6 days Current Mood: content Current Music: depeche mode (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, July 4th, 2005
3:48 pm	~sigh~ and ~shrugs~ and what not, and what have you.... hmmmmm, not too sure about certain things right now... Current Mood: depressed Current Music: skinny puppy (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 3rd, 2005
11:06 pm	sydney. lost for words... lostforwords.lost forwards and backwards. last four words...... ::...fuck that was amazing...::... ................................ Current Mood: drained Current Music: x xsocial distortionx x (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 30th, 2005
8:36 pm	fuck you! AND LET THERE BE RAIN!! And floods!, and more rain!, and warnings, evacuation's, submerged cars and closed airports!!. u fucking try and let that stop me!! ToMoRRow!! muhAAAAAAhaha Current Mood: crazy Current Music: thump thump thump..... (Comment on this)